Dear ‘Vannah’….

*Admin note – all names and images are representations of real characters and vehicles but are not the true characters and vehicles in themselves.  After all, to take a photo of a car on a road is almost as bad as committing genocide.  And we wouldn’t want that.*

Dear Vannah,
A little part of my soul died yesterday when I learned of the tragedy that befell you.  I can only hope that you have recovered after the vicious PUBLIC PHOTOGRAPH MASSACRE.  I am incandescent with rage, actually shaking with rage that a women who is like Britain’s Joan of Arc should be subjected to these massive crimes.  Did you know this is how the massacre in Rwanda started?  Someone took a photo of a car in Rwanda and before anyone knew it – genocide.  With that being said, try to take the positives from it.  All those film stars and models that complain about the paparazzi actually privately like it.  In many way I sort of see you as being a great deal like Taylor Swift.

Suffice to say that Miss Swift has often found a downside to fame.  Overall though it’s good for a career.  For example there is absolutely no doubt at all that on the back end of your own fame you could definitely score a night in a hotel and a free bar by going on the Jeremy Kyle show.  Who knows, maybe even ‘Trisha’.

If I were your agent I’d personally be trying to broker you a contract to be part of ‘Loose Women’.  You could speak to stay-at-home mums about parenting skills.  Not to mention that the title of that show could almost be your nickname.  Nudge, nudge.  That was a small joke by the way – please don’t ring the FBI and file a report of ‘hurt feels’.  Enough kidding and now for some reality.  The first thing I would say to a ‘woman’ like you is accept some responsibility.  Stop whining and moaning like a stabbed bagpipe and actually take on some personal responsibility.

You gave birth to these two little grunts.  You raised them.  Therefore you are most responsible for what you raised.  See how easy it is to quit crying a river of self-pitying tears and apply some logic here?  Before you splutter that it wasn’t you that did the deed – let me stop you right there.  No one has ever said or suggested you did it or were there.  Again, stop whining and wallowing in a lake of fake persecution – it is so transparent and we feel embarrassed for you.  Here is what we are saying though.  We are saying that since they lived in your home then you are at least in part responsible.  One of your little freaks was 17 at the time – Danny ‘We Should Throw It Down The Stairs By Its Ears’ Frankish.  The other freak is obviously older but by English law were you not legally liable for Danny boy?

Furthermore my special little snowflake, since they are your sons, since they were living under your roof and since you obviously must have seen the physical and psychological condition of the dog then YOU should have been charged as well.

I don’t care if you didn’t know about the SD card or not.  Where were you for three entire months?  Had you just left them to their own devices for all that time?  In that case you should not only be charged with failure to get the dog treatment but you should be charged with abandonment (of at least your youngest freak).  If you did not simply abandon them for three months and were around did you experience total blindness, Vannah?  Are you going to lie to the world yet again and make out that the dog was “totally fine”?

We’ve already had one of your stormtroopers try to outsmart us with lies as to how your devil’s spawn had “lefted the country”.  Wow.  Just wow.  This is what you are reduced to, getting a guy that went to a special school and who has allegedly been in prison for sexual offences to try to lie for you and your spawn.

We’ve heard on the grapevine that the sperm donor was a deadbeat and even a sadist himself.  Wouldn’t surprise us considering the quality of male you seduce into doing your dirty work.  What is it with you and your obsession with low-life men who are freaks?  Not content with the husband and your agent, ‘Carl Nixon’, you further begin to behave all mother hen to these two demons that shot out through your hoop.

Honest question on behalf of… everyone.  How can you even look at them let alone defend them and have them live with you?  That’s not loyalty from a mother to her sons- If you were a loyal mother then they would not have ended up that way from the get-go.

Is it like a fetish?  Do you like pledging loyalty to males that rape, torture and that sort of thing?  Does it somehow fill a void in your otherwise barren desert of a mind to see yourself as a sort of obese Wonder Woman that is devoted to somehow fixing freaks by ‘sticking up for them’.  You have shown zero shame during any of this.  Nil.  All you have done is whine, feel sorry for yourself and them, got sexual weirdos to try to lie on your behalf, and wasted police time with your endless moaning about trivial shit like someone taking a photo on a public road.  That’s not the first nonsense and waste of police time whine that you have had.  You should be charged with wasting police time- I am certain that most would fully agree with that.  You have all this energy yet not once have you or your pair of demonic lads EVER ceased whining and crying and actually faced up to the harsh reality of what you are.  You are NOT the victims in this equation.  All you and your offspring are is a dark film on society.

We think your ‘loyalty’ is motivated by £££.  If you weren’t still getting money for the youngest and if the eldest freak weren’t getting his ESA now then you’d care about as much as you must have when they were developing – not much.  In some ways you are even more sick than they are.  You are completely and entirely removed from reality just like your sons.  The ONLY true threats to your sorry arse are the males you marry or spawn. Stop projecting onto everyone else, quit whining, and quit crying fake tears when someone takes a photo in public.

P.S. – And get your youngest to wash, FFS.  I can virtually smell the boy through my screen.

(Pictured:’Vannah’ displaying her mating stance.)

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(Pictured: The car the public are allowed to see.)

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